Brett Tilford

There are two main camps when it comes to the “call of God” question.

First Camp

I don’t believe that God has a call on my life. I don’t believe he has any special or unique plans for me. I don’t think he pre-ordained who I would marry, where I would work, or the church I would go to. God loves me. He just isn’t much of a micro manager. My job is to do my best to live a life of love in the way of Jesus.

2nd Camp

God has a special and unique call on my life. He knows who I’m going to marry, where I’ll work, and the church I’ll attend at each stage of my life. God loves me and revels in watching me walk into his perfect will. My job is to discern that will and love God by faithfully walking the path he’s called me to.

2 Major Pitfalls of The Second Camp

I don’t know who is right, but I’ve experienced two major pitfalls in living as though God has pre-ordained every step of my life. First, there was the pitfall of worrying that I’m not in his will – all the time. It becomes this endless crazy stress that I’m at the wrong school, the wrong neighborhood, the wrong church, the wrong job. God has a wonderful plan for my life but he’s not exactly parting the clouds to impart his will to me. In frustration i would start to read into all sorts of obscure coincendences until one day I would finally declare, “I’ve done it! I’ve found his will!” However, that lead to an even more dangerous pitfall.

The pitfall of believing that I’m actually in the center of God’s will. With this question settled in my mind I relaxed into a kind of sick pseudo spiritual “peace.” All is well. I’ve taken up my cross so now all I have to do is put one foot in front of the other. No one can question my motives or the direction of my life because God has spoken. There was no radical self examination. No questioning of each action and wondering if it lined up with the teachings of Jesus because I was in the middle of God’s will! Sure, I messed up and sinned sometimes but there was nothing major in my life. Right? The worst was when I would actually use God’s “call” to justify the violence in my life. By violence I mean the hurt and pain that my life, both knowingly and unknowingly, caused people. The problem was that to fundamentally question major things in my life would send me straight back to the land of constant worry about whether or not I was in God’s will. That wasn’t an option so I opted to lead an “unexamined” Christian life instead. Where I shopped, what I drove, what I bought, where I lived, what I ate, how much money I had, how much money I gave, where I spent my time, who my friends were, where I worked and why exactly I worked there, and what drove me (desire for money, power, success, peoples approval?) all went unexamined because I was above all that… I was in the center of “God’s will”.

Conclusion

The thing about my life now is that I’m more at peace with the idea that God loves me than I ever have been, yet I’ve never looked so long and hard at every aspect of my life and questioned how it does or doesn’t line up with bringing God’s love to the world. I am now 100% responsible for my actions and I can either live a life that brings the pain and suffering of hell to earth or the love of heaven. The choice is mine. However, on the upside I’m no longer stressed about finding God’s call for my life because from a big picture perspective I feel like I know what it is. It’s the same thing God has called all of us to: love. Of course, I freely admit that I don’t do this very well so if someone asked me, “Do you feel like you’re at the center of God’s will?” I would answer, “Of course not!” Right now all I can do is my best and be thankful that God loves me in the midst of my failings.

Peter Rollins at Baylor University from Peter Rollins on Vimeo.

Money Quote: “Belief in the resurrection is participation in the insurrection.” (or something like that- it’s from memory.)

Another thing I found particularly interesting about this talk was the idea of re-thinking Christianity as a “material” faith and not just doctrines and beliefs.

If you haven’t read anything by Peter Rollins I’d suggest the book How (Not) To Speak of God.

It’s a bit long but here’s what I shared at our church last night…

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The Kingdom of This World

I believe Jesus came to start a new world within the ruins of the old one.  I think he called this new world order the kingdom of God.  And anyone that commits to live in the way of Jesus is a citizen of this kingdom.  This kingdom is fundamentally different than the kingdoms of this world.  Those kingdoms are driven by the gods of money, sex, and power.  Get as much as you can as fast as you can.  It’s a life of materialism.  A life that cares only for selfish pleasure.  A life that’s dependent on no one but yourself.  It’s a kingdom that uses violence to get what it wants.  It’s the worst of humanity.  A world not as God intended it but twisted and broken.

The Kingdom of God

However, Jesus preached that his was a kingdom of love.  Love for God, your neighbors… and even your enemies.  It’s a love that calls us to live humbly: not striving to be the greatest but the servant of all.  It’s a love that calls us not to wine and dine with the elite of society but with the homeless and friendless.  It’s a love that sacrifices and looks out for the good of others.  It’s a love that forgives not once or twice but hundreds and hundreds of times.  It’s a love that embodies mercy and preaches justice.  It’s a love that says it’s not enough that you have enough but when WE have enough.  It’s a weak love.  One that is easily crushed by the powers at be because it refuses to fight back refuses to defend itself. It will not return evil with evil but will overcome it with good.

The Family

And at the heart of this Kingdom is a family. Jesus said it would be our love for one another that would define us.  He said, that the only way people could tell we really were living the kingdom would be our love for one another.  Early in his ministry Jesus was approached by his literal mother and brothers and he pretended to not know them.  Why would he do this.  He said, it’s because these people who were living the kingdom way, the way of love, were his real family.  This is the reality of the kingdom of God. We are invited not only into the kingdom of God but into the family of God.

The Meal

And at the heart of this family is a meal.  But it’s not just any meal my friends.  It’s a meal that foreshadows a meal to end all meals  Down through history you have the prophets saying lots of crazy things about the end of the world.  Instead of the expected doom and gloom you normally get from prophets they seem to be full of hope.  Their message was basically this.  God is going to heal and restore his creation.  They agree that things are really screwed up now but they said it won’t last forever.  Some day, a day they often referred to as the “Day of the Lord” someday God would dwell with men again.  And in that day our relationship with him, other people, and all of creation (the rivers, rocks, animals and oceans) would be set right.  They promised that in that day the things we used to use to kill each other would be burned down and reshaped to farm the land.  They said that lions and lambs would sleep next to each other in perfect peace.  They said that nations would stop killing each other and start helping each other.  They said that God would rule and reign form Jerusalem and that people from all over the world would worship him.  However, they also said something else which was pretty remarkable. In Revelation 19 they said that God was going to throw a party- a feast.  A feast where rich and poor, young and old, and black and white will all sit down together at the table of brotherhood (as Martin Luther correctly said) and share a meal together.  It will be the realization of what Jesus promised and meant by the kingdom of God- literally the rule and reign of God realized on earth.

The Story

What theologians have noticed down through history is that Jesus seems to be alluding to this through his meal with the disciples.  READ MATTHEW 26:26-29 Notice verse 29 that is so important.  He’s saying, do this in remembrance not just of my death on the cross, although that’s very important but he’s saying this is a foretaste, a foretaste of the day of the Lord.

When we share this meal we’re saying not only that we remember Jesus sacrifice on the cross, although that’s super important, we’re saying that we remember his teaching about the kingdom of God.  We remember that one day we’ll sip wine with him in a world ruled by the goodness of God and in the mean time we’ll do our best to make that day a reality.

So you see the eucharist isn’t just a personal reflection on our spiritual life with God.  It’s a meal that signifies the rule and reign of God on earth.  It’s a meal that says, at the end of al things…love wins.  So we live in that reality now.  When we take this bread and cup with a community of Jesus followers we’re literally taking the future reality and pulling it into the present.

To me that’s a beautiful thing.

I wish I was better at thinking about “us” and not just myself. The phrase “common good” conjures up so many negative thoughts and emotions for me. Most of them having to do with communism and socialism. I instantly begin thinking about the book Animal Farm and how that phrase was twisted and used for the exact opposite of what it was intended to mean.

The challenge of course is that it’s a biblical concept. Paul speaks about it as does St. Augustine and of course the early church lived this way.  Maybe my repulsion to the phrase is more a product of my middle class American culture than Jesus’ actual opinion of the subject or church history.

One of the principles I learned from a professor was, “Be wary of an ‘interpretation’ of Jesus words that ends up completely ignoring them.” Yet, I find myself doing this all the time.

For example Luke 6:30 says, “…If anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back.” If I were preaching on this verse I would be super tempted to say, “Now don’t worry. Jesus isn’t saying that if someone steals something from you, you shouldn’t demand it back. What he’s saying is that we need to live generously.”

Really? Is that what he’s saying Tilford, because it sounded an awful lot to me like your trying to explain away a very straight forward interpretation of that verse with the assumption, “Well, dear Lord he can’t possibly mean that!”

The genius thing I do (among others) is withdraw a principle from the verse that ends up removing the prickly parts. Like the phrase I said above, “…what he’s saying is that we need to live generously.” Brilliant! This is especially helpful if I’m reading, preaching, or discipling someone through difficult verses of the Bible. All I have to do is read the verse aloud and then distill it into an easy to swallow principle that goes down like butter! Not only do I feel better about my faith but the folks I’m talking to are put at ease. Don’t worry friends. Following Jesus is easy!

I’m an idiot alot of the time.

Of course I’m not saying that all these “challenging” verses have straightforward interpretations that we’re blatanly ignoring. I think we need serious conversation and prayer about the difficult sayings of Jesus. However, I despise when we avoid those difficult conversations by quickly muzzling Jesus with a slick interpretation that assumes the easy route.

I think the world is waiting for a church that is better at being obedient than slick.

I’ve been wrestling for sometime with the question of whether or not Christians should have excess money.  Of course we give our 10% to “God” (church or charity) but the beauty is that’s a sliding scale.  It hurts you alot when your poor but the wealthier you get the easier it is to stomach.  If you making 10 million/yr. then you still get to keep 9 million!  What I’m wrestling with is whether it’s morally defensible to keep 9 million or 9 thousand for yourself.  How do we justify having thousands in the bank while others go without?

Let’s say you have a friend across the street who’s starving to death.  If you had an extra dollar wouldn’t you give it to him?  This is basic kindergarten stuff right?  Now let’s say that person is a homeless aids orphan in South Africa.  Would you still give the money?

To live happily I need less than I think. A small home for my wife and family. Heat in the winter. A few hundred dollars worth of groceries each month. Gas for my car. Clothes, coffee, books, running shoes, and the occasional meal at Cafe Brazil! Let’s say that comes out to $30,000/year in expenses. Should I give the rest away? What about retirement, kids college funds, braces, vacations, and icecream?  The items that aren’t essential but sort of feel that way.  Are those things wrong of me to indulge in? Can I justify socking away $500,000 over my life time for when I get old, while others go without?  What does God require of me?

A few years ago I realized that I grew up in one of the most prosperous towns in the world. I was rich. Of course, now days I bring in a salary that most people would consider modest.  However, compared to most of the world I’m rolling in money.  At what point do I say, “Okay, my family and I have enough. Everything else is given away.” Something in my conscious is screaming that I have to make that decision but I keep holding off because I don’t want to sacrifice too much. I’m afraid that I’ll look back and regret not giving more to my kid’s college funds, retirement, etc. That I’ll regret not being “wise” with my money. Doesn’t proverbs say something about an ant storing up for winter being a good thing? Where is the line between being a wise ant and being the fool that Jesus chastises in the story of the man who built bigger and bigger barns instead of giving away what he didn’t need.

To sum it up I guess I’m wondering how much money a Christian keep for himself and his family.  God help me.

Last weekend I was in the Christmas production for Gateway Church in Southlake, Texas singing a portion of the song Inescapable Day. The musical was an adaptation of Charles Dickens A Christmas Carol with a more overt evangelical Christian slant worked in. The quality of the production was top notch and I thoroughly enjoyed working with the team there. It was clear that they truly loved God and people.  Another thing that struck me was that the team was absolutely committed to making this more than just a good show.  They wanted the power and love of Jesus to shine through and really weren’t interested in getting glory for themselves.  That’s unusual among people who stand on stages alot.  If you’re in that area and need a good Church I would highly recommend Gateway.

You may have noticed that I lost about 2 years of blog posts in a server transfer disaster.  Instead of bemoaning my loss I’ve decided to move forward and do my best to keep putting good content out there.  Here is something that I posted awhile ago but was sitting in my “drafts” folder because that’s where it was in the file backups.  Thanks for your patience.

I wanted to post another excerpt from Peter Rollins book How Not To Speak of God to continue developing the idea of Orthodoxy as believing in the right way as opposed to right belief.  Enjoy.

“There is an old anecdotein which a mystic, an evangelical pastor and a fundamentalist preacher die on the same day and awake to find themselves at the pearly gates.  Upon reaching the gates they are promptly greeted by Peter, who informs them that before entering heaven they must be interviewed by Jesus concerning the state of their doctrine.  The first to be called forward is the mystic, who is quietly ushered into the room.  Five hours later the ystic reappears with a smile, saying, ‘I thought I had got it all wrong.’  Then Peter signals to the evangelical pastor, who stands up and enters the room.  After a full day has passed the pastor reappears with a frown and says to himself, ‘How could I have been so foolish!’  Finally Peter asks the fundamentalist to follow him.  The fundamentalist picks up his well-worn Bible and walks into the room.  A few days pass with no sign of the preacher, then finally the door swings open and Jesus himself appears, exclaiming, “How could I have got it all so wrong!’

This video really got me to thinking about beauty in the modern era. What a strange world we live in when people’s imperfections can disappear with the click of a mouse. Unbelievable.

I remember seeing a news piece a few years ago about a makeup artist who was so concerned with what was being communicated to young girls via the magazines they were reading, that she started going around the country raising awareness, her message was something to the effect of “These people are works of art, they aren’t real. No matter how much you diet or apply makeup you’ll never look like them. When they wake up in the morning they look just like you!”

I really do think that the whole “Barbie or bust” (no pun intended) idea of beauty is extremely destructive. What are we communicating to our children when every person’s skin they see, on T.V. or the drive by billboards, looks like a freakin mannequin. I can’t imagine the types of conversations I’ll have to have with my kids in a few years. My little girl will say, “Daddy, look at that lady on t.v.! She is so beautiful!” I’ll reply, “Well honey, she isn’t actually real. See there is this thing called photoshop that allows you to make people look perfect. It’s weird I know, but it helps people sell things.” God help me.

I think all this hits a little to close to home because I’m in the design business. Just a few months ago myself and Charles (the lead designer in our business) were working on a project together. The client had requested that we touch up a picture of one of his family members. It wasn’t anything big. However, once we got started it was so hard to stop! After fixing the teeth, we noticed that the eyebrows were a little bushy, and the eyes could probably be a little bigger. Also, that chin could afford to be a little smaller.  If we raised those cheekbones she looks older.  All of the sudden one of us (I honestly don’t remember who- I think it was Charles) yelled out, “Stop! We have to stop this!” He was right.But there was such power in that mouse. Razorburn? No problem, “click”-it’s gone. Dirty fingernails? Click-gone. Bags under the eyes? Click. Hair out of place? Click. Nose to big? Click. Eyes too small? Click. Cheek bones too low? Click. Skin to blotchy? Click. My God this is out of control. Now some nerd sitting in his apartment loft is deciding what beauty is? Scary.

When I think of Jesus I think of someone who seemed to be saying “God believes you are beautiful.  Hey you leper! God loves you and thinks you are beautiful.  Hey you drunk, God thinks you are beautiful.  All you outcasts and beggars, God thinks you are beautiful. It would be easy to pin all the blame on the advertising agencies of the world.  But you know what this comes back to all of us, because who is buying the way they are selling? Me and you. So maybe the point of the video isn’t to think, “How could those people?!”  But instead to turn that pointing finger back at myself and think, “Why don’t I live more like Jesus lived?”  Believing that everyone is beautiful.

Postmodernism. I approach this subject with much fear and trembling for two reasons. First, because it is such a broad movement spanning 500+ years and effecting every level of society. Second, because people are all over the map on their opinion of it, with views ranging from “I have no clue what you are talking about” to “postmodernism doesn’t actually exist” to “postmodernism = relativism.” Having said that, I think it’s worth trying to explain and wrestle with because if it is true, I think it has profound implications for the world and our lives. So here goes my feeble attempt.

In the modern era logic, science, and the idea of “pure reason” were in. Philosophers spent most of their time reasoning and deducting. Scientists were objectively experimenting. Newton was forming his solid and unchanging “laws” of the universe and the gospel was boiled down into “four spiritual laws” as well. Religion was on trial for claiming “super” natural phenomena. Theologians were systematizing their theology. The arts were struggling to be taken seriously. People like Spoch were highly respected: rational and unemotional. “Don’t give me any experiential mumbo jumbo” was a phrase you might hear some wise person utter. We loved shows like Dragnet, with agent Joe Friday saying “just the fact’s ma’m, just the facts.” The great thinkers and writers of the day were confident that we were creating a better world. At the turn of the 20th century a popular saying was “every day, in every way we are getting better and better.” Science, technology, and reason would lead us there.

However, two world wars and a great depression were enough to begin the eroding of peoples faith in the modern experiment. Was the world really getting better and better? Was there even such a thing as “pure reason” or being truly “objective”: the way the scientist claimed to approach his experiment or the philosopher claimed to arrive at his deductions. Some people began to think these premises might be questionable, and it followed that the idea of something “after” or “post” modern was birthed. These were people who lived through the modern era, and experienced it so deeply that they were changed by it, and became something else entirely: postmodern. On this basis postmodernity isn’t necessarily “antimodern” or “better than modern” just “emerging from modern.”

In a postmodern world it’s not that logic and reason are out, but are rather taken off their pedestal, and placed alongside story, imagination, and experience in the search for truth. It’s not that science is out, but instead is humbly placed in the context of a very mysterious universe with a very “other” God that we have trouble wrapping our tiny brains around.

The implications for this new way of thinking are far reaching. The arts are being revitalized as a legitimate voice in the search for truth. Mystery is not sneered at, but celebrated. The arrogant humanism and individualism (think of our hero’s spock or the lone ranger) that modernity birthed are being replaced by a profound sense of “we” and a desire for relationship and community. Science is one of the voices, as opposed to the only voice. Supernatural things aren’t disregarded on the spot. The bible isn’t approached the way a skeptical detective approaches a crime scene, but is instead approached in a more relational and humble manner.

In many ways the Wizard of Oz serves as an appropriate metaphor for the rise of the postmodern world. In the story our friend Dorothy becomes the unlikely hero, journeying through an unknown world with imperfect friends. While the almighty Oz (confident, know it all, and loud) is revealed as a fraud. He is, and has been all along, only a humble seeker like them.

I hope this at least gives you a taste of what postmodernism may be. Hopefully it launches you into your own study of where our world has been and where it may be headed.