Leaders Who Won’t
22 Jul
Leaders are a rare breed – but leaders who don’t want to lead are rarer still. I think we need more leaders who don’t want to lead.
By “don’t want to lead” I mean that they’re reluctant and choose the times and places they step up wisely. Why? Because they know leadership comes with a price tag – it’s not all stages and great speeches. It’s serving. It’s blood and sweat and tears. It’s giving a damn day after day. It’s smiling when everyone’s crying and offering hope when there’s none left. It’s speaking life into people when they don’t want to hear it. It’s trying and failing and trying again. It’s listening. It’s exhausting. It’s existing for the good of other people – to help them win. It’s a life poured out. Period.
If someone is begging to lead – don’t let them. I don’t care how smart, well spoken, or ambitious they are. I don’t care what previous positions or titles they’ve had – they’ve never lead. They’re begging because they’re in it for themselves (ego, insecurity, etc.) or they’re stupid. Either way they’ll fail.
Great – but reluctant – people are who you should look for. Leaders you have to beg and cajole. People who fully realize the price they’ll pay – but do it anyway.
Really good thoughts.
I think some people are born with a personality type that naturally causes others to gravitate toward them for influence and leadership, and while some of these individuals do develop and flesh out that role over the course of their lives and understand the gravity of it, I think in many cases that can breed a very undercooked form of leadership; mistaking charisma and magnetism for wisdom and rationale.
So, I agree, the right kind of reluctance is a good precursor to the indication of a leader.
I think we can definitely find examples of leaders who enjoy it, who want it and are really good at it. To the point that they even search out leadership roles, without reluctancy.
However, the one who begs for it, I think you are right, has no idea what they are talking about.
I think after a while, a leader understands that is their role, that is what they are good at, and they try to find a situation that fits.
My take on the core of what you are hitting on is this:
Being a leader sucks sometimes. But the few that are good at it embrace the suckness.
I don’t think that any great leader seeks out the spot light of attention. People who are looking for opportunities to be at the front, aren’t necessarily building camaraderie and teamwork. A true leader is a team player, because leading isn’t so much about a destination, as the journey, which leads there.
I totally agree. I don’t think we need to go as far as appointing someone but way too many politics want the job to spruce up their résumé. It’s a hard job for a reason.
Awesome stuff Man! I just went to the LeaderShape Institute and it was great stuff. They talked about inclusive leadership and the value of one and the power of all and I learned a lot about myself and where I need to grow and improve upon not only as a leader but as a person as well.
It really stressed how leadership is a choice which I think you have stressed as well (choosing the time and places to step up wisely). Leadership has become positional, and it shouldn’t be. Just like people, leadership comes in all shapes and sizes. Every person has the capacity to lead with integrity and it is one’s choice to utilize that capacity. This Institute just blew me away!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this Brett! It is always a pleasure to hear your perspective on things!