Brett Tilford

We don’t want people to be happy (by the term happy I’m thinking of their overall well being and quality of life).  Advertisers don’t want consumers to be happy. Employers don’t want employees to be happy. Churches don’t want members to be happy. Governments don’t want citizens to be happy. Parent’s don’t want kids to be happy.  Why, you ask?  It’s because we’re willing to exploit the desire human beings have to be happy for the opportunity to increase our own happiness.

Advertisers don’t make as much money from happy people. They make money from people who are unsatisfied and hope that the next purchase will do the trick.

Employers want unsatisfied “go getter” types who will trade their lives for the promise of a promotion. Happy people have lives outside of work.

Churches don’t want people to be happy because our major customer is the guilt ridden and depressed. Church services and events become dispensaries for getting “high on the spirit”.  If people are happy then we fear they won’t need God.

Governments don’t want people to be happy because the only way they measure success is by the GDP. This depends on a vibrant “American Dream” chasing workforce who also happen to be the consumers that fuel the demand for more shizz to be made. Get too many people saying, “I’m satisfied” and we might slip behind China! God forbid.

Parents don’t want happy kids because they’re harder to show off. Unhappy kids get honor roll bumper stickers for their parents SUV’s, are captain of every sports team, and get accepted to the top private schools… all before the 6th grade. Happy kids do what they’re good at and pretty much quit the other stuff.

Of course, I’m tempted to externalize this evil. To say the problem is those damn advertisers, employers, churches, governments, and parents. Not me. The problem is never me. Unfortunately, the truth is I am these things. I’m a marketer, business owner, church leader, voter, and parent and I’m willing to extort and manipulate the fact that people want to be happy.  I want them to be unsatisfied. That’s a motivating factor for them to buy from me, give my company a competitive advantage, financially support my church, add to my country’s GDP, or motivate my daughter to become the envy of the neighborhood at everything she does. I want them like a hamster on the wheel chasing that elusive dream… but never actually catching it.

Too bad. I think the world would be a better place if quality of life of those around me were my first priority.

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P.S. I recognize that not all advertisers, employers, churches, governments, and parents are like this all the time. My point is that we operate like this more than we’d like to admit.  Below is a breakdown of my estimations for how often each of the previously mentioned groups of people operate in ways that propagate unhappiness in human beings.

• Advertisers: 80%
• Employers: 75%
• Churches: 30%
• Governments: 50%
• Parents: 20%
• Brett: 1% (yes I’m lying)

There are two main camps when it comes to the “call of God” question.

First Camp

I don’t believe that God has a call on my life. I don’t believe he has any special or unique plans for me. I don’t think he pre-ordained who I would marry, where I would work, or the church I would go to. God loves me. He just isn’t much of a micro manager. My job is to do my best to live a life of love in the way of Jesus.

2nd Camp

God has a special and unique call on my life. He knows who I’m going to marry, where I’ll work, and the church I’ll attend at each stage of my life. God loves me and revels in watching me walk into his perfect will. My job is to discern that will and love God by faithfully walking the path he’s called me to.

2 Major Pitfalls of The Second Camp

I don’t know who is right, but I’ve experienced two major pitfalls in living as though God has pre-ordained every step of my life. First, there was the pitfall of worrying that I’m not in his will – all the time. It becomes this endless crazy stress that I’m at the wrong school, the wrong neighborhood, the wrong church, the wrong job. God has a wonderful plan for my life but he’s not exactly parting the clouds to impart his will to me. In frustration i would start to read into all sorts of obscure coincendences until one day I would finally declare, “I’ve done it! I’ve found his will!” However, that lead to an even more dangerous pitfall.

The pitfall of believing that I’m actually in the center of God’s will. With this question settled in my mind I relaxed into a kind of sick pseudo spiritual “peace.” All is well. I’ve taken up my cross so now all I have to do is put one foot in front of the other. No one can question my motives or the direction of my life because God has spoken. There was no radical self examination. No questioning of each action and wondering if it lined up with the teachings of Jesus because I was in the middle of God’s will! Sure, I messed up and sinned sometimes but there was nothing major in my life. Right? The worst was when I would actually use God’s “call” to justify the violence in my life. By violence I mean the hurt and pain that my life, both knowingly and unknowingly, caused people. The problem was that to fundamentally question major things in my life would send me straight back to the land of constant worry about whether or not I was in God’s will. That wasn’t an option so I opted to lead an “unexamined” Christian life instead. Where I shopped, what I drove, what I bought, where I lived, what I ate, how much money I had, how much money I gave, where I spent my time, who my friends were, where I worked and why exactly I worked there, and what drove me (desire for money, power, success, peoples approval?) all went unexamined because I was above all that… I was in the center of “God’s will”.

Conclusion

The thing about my life now is that I’m more at peace with the idea that God loves me than I ever have been, yet I’ve never looked so long and hard at every aspect of my life and questioned how it does or doesn’t line up with bringing God’s love to the world. I am now 100% responsible for my actions and I can either live a life that brings the pain and suffering of hell to earth or the love of heaven. The choice is mine. However, on the upside I’m no longer stressed about finding God’s call for my life because from a big picture perspective I feel like I know what it is. It’s the same thing God has called all of us to: love. Of course, I freely admit that I don’t do this very well so if someone asked me, “Do you feel like you’re at the center of God’s will?” I would answer, “Of course not!” Right now all I can do is my best and be thankful that God loves me in the midst of my failings.